Part Ways

Every teardrop that you came down with, I am here to make you forget about it. I break all the barriers to make everything into a movie. Tell me what you need, I will turn your reality into a series. With no goals insight, you must be feeling hurt from all that fight. You miss your chance so now it is time for me to rant. I could be that type of guy to lay out the pain but my pride would not allow me to be so lame. I hope next time that you will not be the same.

Viewpoint on Family

The concept of family is remarkably interesting since everybody has a certain viewpoint of what is meaningful to them. The general belief is that your family should be able to have your back through the good and bad. That is never the case in the long run.

You must think that I am speaking on this topic based on idealism or theory. That is far from the truth, this is all based on my experience. Here are a few details about me, I was born into a family of five from my mother’s side and born into a family of four from my father’s side. On my mother’s side, I have 2 brothers (really have 3 since my stepfather had a son that grew up with us) and 2 sisters than on my father’s side, I have 1 brother and 2 sisters. The only full-blooded sibling I have from the same mother and father is Kevin. I grew up with the belief that family should stick together no matter what and you can never choose which family you are born into.

Now back to why the general belief is like the belief of Santa Claus or the tooth fairy. I personally try to keep the peace and understand other people’s viewpoint but, in the end, you have to cut ties or keep a certain distance to go forward in your life. I always thought that the only thing different about being family from being friends is that you will fight and have disagreement but overall, you have a deep understanding and respect of each other to never cross the line. That belief has flip itself upside down and that is not my stance anymore. I mentally lost one sibling and I have to keep a certain distance from another. I have made friends that are close to me as siblings.

I am about to turn 30 years old and this will be the next milestone in my life. The new friendship that you make going forward will be a new extended family member that will be able to celebrate who you are and walk with you on your journey. My father was excessively big on friendship and being true to them like family. I hope I can be just as passionate as him when it comes to living life to the fullest. Now go out there and make a new family member who is on your wavelength. Who will you choose to love and connect with?

Soul Search

Emotions are turned up high, not knowing how hard it is to say goodbye. Why should I even try? Feeling lost but I am so tight. Anger won't fade away with a combination of negativity. Maybe this single essence is my true reality. Never knowing if life is guaranteed but you just got to truly believe. Maybe then you can finally see if your heart can be set free.

The Next Step

With the whole world stopping because of the COVID-19 pandemic. The question is “what is the next step” and should I even care? With the daily report of people passing away each day, I am sure that I am not the only one that has lost a loved one. It is crazy how people say that life is short. It is a short life that we have. My father was just here and now he is gone.

When he passed, something inside of me broke and it will never heal. It is something that I must live with, but I know Dad would not want me to be saddened by this breaking point. He would want me to figure out my next step. The basic question that is always asked during an interview is where you see yourself in the next 5 years?

The world is temporary on hold and I just must figure out my next step. The crazy thing about all of this is that I will not be able to celebrate my father in the traditional sense for a long time since the world is in chaos. What is my next step? I will let you know when I can make my father proud and even, I do not know when that will be.

Boundaries

The term, the boundary is defined as a limit of a subject or sphere of activity. Every child is taught at a young age of what boundary is and not to cross it. Sure, there are those outliers that could never read a room and always cross the line.

I have experienced these outliers a few times and now it has happened in my backyard. I guess that is why I am not as communicated as I like since people just don't know how to limit what they. They just must be in the know and never think to themselves "should I do this," or "will this hurt someone if I make this decision". Some people are aware of human nature and themselves at a certain level to always think of those questions because they want to keep the connection that they have made. 

You must think that this type of situation only happens to young adults or kids. But no, it can happen at any ages and I just wonder when they overstep their boundary. "Do you care for the other individual"? Of course, you will jump out of your chair stating loud that you do. It is a valid rejection and here is my response "why did you overstep that person's boundary and hurt him/her"? Remember the saying that "trust is hard to gain but easy to lose". 

Every time, you cross the line and you will cause that person to keep a certain distance more and more. It does not matter what type of relationship you guys have. If you cannot distinguish what a boundary is in a personal sense, then maybe you need to relearn it or learn how to communicate first without deciding.

Lost a piece of my Heart

The pain of losing someone who is close to your heart is very devastating. My father, Keith Grant is one of many who have lost his battle with the coronavirus on April 6th, 2020. This news has shocked me, my family, and his friends to the core of our heart. I already knew that my father had an ability to connect with people on a personal level but I never knew that he was a celebrity.

He was very passionate about me, Kevin, Kayandra, and Paula. He would sing praises of us to all of his friends. Looking through his Facebook profile, detail the type of man he was. No matter what, he was always bringing laughter to everybody that he knows. No wonder, I am always smiling and cracking jokes when I am speaking with people. I hate that he is gone and I constantly feel like it is my fault. It hurt so much, not being able to make fun of him anymore.

I was away for two years in a different state and I just move back into the house with dad. He got sick and passed away. A week after I came back and he is gone. My thought process keeps going around in my head "this I do this?" or "is this my fault?" I know that he was proud of me but I always felt that I was not there yet to tell him that I made it.

I have lost a father and a chuck of my heart. I will never get that back and I don't know why. I will always love him and will continue his legacy no matter what. He always told me that you are a Grant which means a king and you must follow your path no matter what.

I love you dad and please look out for me and my siblings like you have always done.

Korey Grant